A momentary hint at fame and laughter.
There's too much glory in breaking yourself down for the open amusement of a crowd. My legs shake as I take to the stage, carefully oblivious to the carnal thoughts I know he's having. Delicately withdrawing from myself to properly assess the situation.
He doesn't like me. He says he does. But the way he looks at me isn't an "I heart you" look, the way his eyes fall on me say "Get in my bed, now."
I actually told him this, just now on the phone. He laughed, but he didn't deny it.
"You take too much into emotion. You read too far in to notice the small stuff."
After all this silence, that's all he says? I twitch. Frustration builds, released in a quick exhale.
"I'm sorry. You're only half right though."
Which half?
"I always look at you like someone I want by my side. But by the time I catch myself staring, I look away and you turn to look at me. I know it's not fair. We need coordination."
You don't make sense, I point accusingly. But even I can hear the smile in my voice.
"I...really do like you, Matt. I mean, why can't you believe me?"
Uh no. See, now things have taken a turn for the worse. I want to ask him, Why did you have to ask me that? But I don't. I mumble something I believe was along the lines of sorry. Or some such.
He sighs.
"I mean it though. I've known I liked you since...since forever!"
Liar.
"No I'm not lying. You can ask anyone."
Anyone where?
"Shit."
I have to go soon, dad's getting the cake-
"Matt don't hang up! Please! Just...just hear me out."
I have to go now... Mom's calling.
"She can wait. I just want a chance."
But...
"Just one day. To prove you can trust me."
Bye, Joshua...
"Matt, dont do this. Dont shut me out."
Bye...
*Click*
Maybe I'm less than kind. But it's the only way I know how to protect myself against an invasion.
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